So, was Vladimir Putin's first report to the State Duma a chance to get some answers from the Prime Minister, or was it more of a schoolmaster's address? The national media seemed undecided.
The address was officially a 'holding to account', part of Dmitry Medvedev's efforts to open up government, but few would regard Putin as a subordinate - prompting a rash of tongue-in-cheek headlines alluding to what was more of a pep talk than a civil servant's report.
Putin in the State Duma: He Came, He Reported, He Convinced," ran a RIA Novosti headline. No one could beat Kommersant star reporter Andrei Kolesnikov, though: "Vladimir Putin ochitalsya kak otchital," a common ironic expression that roughly translates as, "gave an account that was actually a verbal thrashing."
Not that the headmaster used much of his speech to flex his cane. Putin merely urged legislators to "back off the bankers - they're doing their best," and took a moment to defend Russia's 13 per cent flat tax rate. Sure, it might not sound fair, he said, but where the country's treasury was concerned, it sure beat salaries in cash envelopes. Besides, he said, striking a pose, "The whole world envies us. The whole world. I know what I'm talking about."
Party leaders got a chance to vent their disapproval of the government, with Communist leader Gennady Zyuganov - the rebel from behind the Duma's bike sheds - delivering a fiery denunciation of Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin.
But the media couldn't seem to agree whether Duma deputies were actually happy about the report. With its bald headline, "They didn't get an answer," the Vedomosti business daily wrote that "deputies from all the oppositionist factions were unhappy with the first government report. Putin didn't give any clear answers..." But then what to make of the Kommersant report? Its headline, "The majority that heard all" included a sly reference to the phrase "obedient majority," and the article went on to state that "all Duma factions, including the oppositionist [Communists], found yesterday's debut... a success."
Death in Dubai
The murder of exiled Chechen leader Sulim Yamadayev, who was killed in Dubai last week, has prompted British journalists to liken Russia's State Duma to a safe house for murder suspects.
Britain's The Times suggested that in Russia, accusing MPs of murder was becoming a trend after "an ally of Vladimir Putin" Adam Delimkhanov was blamed for the killing. Delimkhanov joins Andrei Lugovoi - Britain's prime suspect in the Alexander Litvinenko case - on the Duma's international charge sheet.
The Guardian claimed the whole affair could be "extremely embarrassing" for the Kremlin, and even suggested that it could revoke its "Faustian deal" with Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov.
Not that Kadyrov himself was abashed, telling the BBC Russian service that the Dubai authorities were wrong to seek to extradite Delimkhanov "without evidence".
"We needed Yamadayev alive, so that he could stand trial, and then... punish him according to our traditions, according to Chechen traditions." Carefully, the journalist inquired whether Kadyrov was referring to a blood feud. "I mean blood feud. I officially state this," Kadyrov said.
Supporters of Yamadayev and Kadyrov have got into armed skirmishes over who has right of way in Grozny's streets, so it was perhaps ironic that Yamadayev met his end in a parking garage in Dubai. Or did he? In a final twist, his brother Isa claimed that the death was a fabrication on behalf of the Dubai police. The ruse is allegedly intended to protect Sulim and his family.
Good news
Lucky jumper
A 22-year-old identified only as Alexei was lucky to escape after leaping from his fifth-floor apartment - twice. Life.ru reported that the man downed three bottles of vodka with friends before taking the plunge, climbing back to his flat and jumping out of his kitchen window for a second time. After being released from hospital with little more than cuts and bruises, he was told what had happened and pledged to give up drinking.
Foxy stowaway
An intrepid fox was plucked from an icy end by sailors en route from Kamchatka to Vladivostok. The animal, named Alisa, was spotted floating on the ice and rescued by the cargo vessel and spent 12 days on board, happily guzzling sweets offered by the crew, RIA Novosti explained. She made herself so at home that she hid on arrival in Vladivostok, but was later taken to a vet and is due to be released into a nature reserve.
Bad News
Neighbourly relations
The so-called 'Union State' faces a frosty spell of sleeping on the sofa as Belarus and Russia quarrel over South Ossetia and Abkhazia. The minxes in Minsk promised to put official recognition of the breakaway republics on their parliamentary agenda, only to stamp their feet and drop the plan when Russia turned down a $3 billion loan request, according to a RIA Novosti report.
Pyongyang calling
Things may be worse than we feared: an economic analyst recently made redundant in St. Petersburg has applied for asylum in North Korea in a bid to flee the collapse of capitalism and his "everyday pile of unpaid bills", RIA Novosti reported. Alexei Lebedev, who used to work for the city authorities, has enlisted the help of outspoken communist splinter group 'Communists of St. Petersburg and the Leningrad Region' to earn his dream move to Pyongyang.
Strangely tabloid
Russian strongman Omar Hanapiev really got his teeth into his latest challenge - and dragged a ship for 6 metres through the docks in his home town of Eisk. To make it a bit tougher, he moved the 2,200-ton craft using his teeth, taking a bite out of his previous record with a 567-ton vessel, Regnum.ru repor-ted.
In the most bizarre sex scandal of the week, a pet macaque was apparently raped by its owner in Moscow, Tvoi Den reported. The primate suffered serious injuries to its genitals, which the owner claimed were the result of over-enthusiastic masturbation. "The animal could not cause itself such pain," a vet told the newspaper.
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